...which will leave me sidetracked for a few daze.
And Jacob was left alone; and there wrestled a man with him until the breaking of the day. And when he saw that he prevailed not against him, he touched the hollow of his thigh; and the hollow of Jacob's thigh was out of joint, as he wrestled with him. And he said, Let me go, for the day breaketh. And he said, I will not let thee go, except thou bless me. And he said unto him, What is thy name? And he said, Jacob. And he said, Thy name shall be called no more Jacob, but Israel: for as a prince hast thou power with God and with men, and hast prevailed. And Jacob asked him, and said, Tell me, I pray thee, thy name. And he said, Wherefore is it that thou dost ask after my name? And he blessed him there. And Jacob called the name of the place Peniel: for I have seen God face to face, and my life is preserved. And as he passed over Penuel the sun rose upon him, and he halted upon his thigh. Therefore the children of Israel eat not of the sinew which shrank, which is upon the hollow of the thigh, unto this day: because he touched the hollow of Jacob's thigh in the sinew that shrank.
I always pray that moments like these represent a turning point or paradigm shift in my walk with the Lord. My most basic prayer has been, "Whatever it takes to make me yours." Like Jacob, I'm facing my biggest enemies and they are a result of my own folly. With mounting debt, a shady past and a very uncertain future, I am left begging and wrestling for a blessing for me and my family that I have no right to and, like Jacob, know it all too well.
My comfort is that God is wrestling with me...not against me, and that my scars will be a point of remembrance for me and my family that God has touched me yet I live.
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