Blessed is the man...in whose spirit there is no guile.
Thank you...I really did sense a different life was awaiting us here...at least job wise. I'm 50 years old now and my body simply can't handle the physical demands of the work I know how to do. Schooling is still an option but again, at age 50, to do what? I've tried and failed to set up my own business and, with each passing year, the regulations, licensing, tax and legal issues only increase and I am obligated before God to follow every one of them, I don't have the fight left to plow through any of that any longer.
Pastoring a church is out as I am not up for the control our tax laws place on the pulpit---and---I don't have a very high regard for the folks in the pews...you have to love the sheep to serve them and, quite frankly, I don't right now...think Jonah 4:5.
Some time ago I also had to face the awful truth that, the only reason I pursued the ministry to begin with was so that I could get out of the bull work that I do for a living---not a good reason to take the pulpit and, I can't honestly say that it wouldn't be the overriding reason to say yes to it should it be offered in the future.
I'm currently waiting for an appointment for an interview for a job doing...drum roll please...apartment maintenance---again. At least I can console myself in that, 1. I'm no longer living on the property so my life and that of my family will be our own, if expressing my faith costs me my job, it'll be nothing to toss my tool bags in the car, kick the dust off my shoes and drive off into the sunset....and 2. I'll be a tech and not a supervisor---let someone else catch the spears, coddle and stroke the owner and management and juggle the budgets for awhile, thank you very much.
No, I'm not your average American pew warmer. I don't start my week with an '80s 'do and Pepsodent teeth saying, "This is my Bible: I am what it says I am; I have what it says I have; I can do what it says I can do. Today, I will be taught the Word of God. I'll boldly confess. My mind is alert; my heart is receptive; I will never be the same. I am about to receive the incorruptible, indestructible, ever-living Seed of the Word of God. I'll never be the same - never, never, never! I'll never be the same, in Jesus' Name." The last thing I want to do is spread the Gospel of Jesus Christ through a medium like models...it smacks of everything I despise in the Church in my country today,---focus group faith, i.e. Christian bikers, Christian surfers, Christian left-handed albinos, blah, blah, blah...but...here I am.
I covet the prayers of those who are moved to pray for me and my family...know that they are greatly appreciated.
Blessing, B
2 comments:
That is a... touching-heart post, if I may say so - I mean, the thoughts of a man, some problems of his life (far from being a good script for Hollywood, not so spectacular, but who lives in those scripts, after all?!); these thoughts and problems are (sometimes in somehow other forms) also my thoughts, his/hers thoughts.. everyone's. You like model trains, I like them - you found the God's way, I'm still searching for it... well, people are not so different - and that gadget on your blog - "Unreached people of the day" - reminds me that there are so many people that could be very close friends of yours/mine...but we don't and won't know them. Too many boundaries made by man - too often against man, not serving him.
I understand your job problem, I have it too, one way or another. And as far as I can understand, it has to do more or less with your age - I don't want to say cute and polite false little things, but 50 is a great age, in my humble opinion. Of course - not for searching jobs, but you know you can never have this equilibrium between wisdom and a young body as you have now. On the other hand, my mother's death at 52 (and there is only less than 18 years difference between me and her) convinced me the "real" old age of man is above 70... unless one doesn't feel old, for some reason, even at 25.
So... even it could may seen a little unpolite (I mean, the younger brother shouldn't be giving advices to big brother :D)(I take the risk, anyway) let me remind you about our treasures: Christ, the family, our time here on Earth... far more valuable than other things. May our Saviour enlighten your way from now on - He sure will.
PS - I must admit I'm a little afraid that my previous comment, the joke with Ned Flanders and Homer Simpson as neighbours, could have been a bad one - not speaking mother language could be tricky sometimes... I sincerely apologize if so.
You're are a treasured brother in Christ...even if you are younger than me. Your wisdom and insight are far past most pastors in the pulpit today.
As for my neighbors, one of them is the coach of my favorite team...don't get to see him much but hey, I know he cuts his grass just like me.
As for your English, you have a better command of it than most Americans... :-)
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